Boris Johnson (Mayor of London) Stuck On A Zip Wire!
Conservatives, behold what could be your next leader dangling helplessly from a zip line.
The mayor was left hanging in mid-air at an event in Victoria Park. According to ITV News Boris had to be pulled back down to earth by teams on the ground.
Boris, the first person to use the wire, was heard shouting: “Get me a rope, get me a rope ok?”
As chuckling onlookers snapped pictures, he was heard to say: “I think they need to test this on somebody going a bit faster”.
Rumours that Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign tampered with the mayor’s equipment as retribution for him publicly mocking him in front of 60,000 Londoners have yet to be proven.
Of course, fingers may also be pointed at David Cameron, who must be getting increasingly irritated at predictions that Boris wants his job.
A New York man known for his unusually large penis was patted down by airport security at San Francisco International last week after they questioned him about the bulge in his pants, he said.
Jonah Falcon, 41, who has been featured in several documentaries about the world’s biggest penises, was returning from a trip in San Francisco on July 9 when he was stopped at security by TSA agents who spotted something out of the ordinary hanging to the left in his pants, he said.
“They wanted to know if I had something in my pockets, and when I said no, they asked if I had some sort of growth,” he said.
When he replied that it was just his penis, they “checked the area around it” but didn’t frisk him too severely, he said. They also wiped his hands to check for explosive powder.
Falcon said the delay was mostly amusing to him and only delayed him for about 5 minutes. He said it was the first time his penis had caused a security concern.
“I”ve gone through the (airport scanner) before, and I wasn’t worried,” he said. “What was the worst that was going to happen — I was going to have to whip it out for them? I’m used to that. Sometimes when people ask me about it, if I’m feeling up to it, I’ll just show them.”
Falcon’s penis has been reported as 9.5 inches when flaccid and 13.5 inches when erect, according to Rolling Stone. He has been featured in documentaries on HBO and overseas and has appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He works as a video game journalist and as an actor with small roles in movies and television shows, according to his Internet Movie Database profile.
Falcon tweeted about the airport delay and the Huffington Post was the first to report on the incident.
A spokesman for the TSA at SFO was not immediately available for comment. Falcon said the agents were “professional” about the security che
Jul 26
Man With ‘World’s Biggest Penis’ Stopped At SFO Security
Only in England!
Jul 24
Oddest Prom Outfit Ever
Concert organizers at London’s Hyde Park didn’t take too kindly to Bruce Springsteen’s epic curfew-breaking set Saturday night. The E Street Band kept rocking past the 10 pm cut-off, eventually inviting Paul McCartney on stage, much to the delight of 80,000 in attendance. But at 10:30, in the middle of “Twist And Shout”, the mics were silenced. The abrupt ending didn’t sit too well with Steven Van Zandt, who took to Twitter shortly after:
English cops may be the only individuals left on earth that wouldn’t want to hear one more from Bruce Springsteen and Paul McCartney!
I’m sorry but I have to be honest I’m pissed. Like I said, it didn’t ruin the great night. But when I’m jamming with McCartney don’t bug me!
You’d think Sir McCartney could buy a few extra minutes on stage in his home country.
A man in Kentucky has siphoned off gas from a police cruiser and could have probably gotten away with it, if only he hadn’t posted the picture of the crime on his Facebook page.
Local police arrested Michael Baker, 20, for theft by unlawful taking when the photograph started to circulate the town and was eventually obtained by one of the officers. It was Baker’s girlfriend who took the picture. The couple said they intended it as a joke.
Gas Stealer Arrested after Posting a Facebook Picture
Jul 16
Funny Short Comics
25. Last Two Speakers of Dying Language Refuse To Talk
An April report done by the Guardiandocumented how the last two surviving speakers of the ancient Mexican language of Ayapaneco didn’t get along and thus refused to talk to one another. Scientists are racing to document the language before it is too late.
photo – guardian.co.uk
24. Adult Baby vs Oklahoma Senator
Stanley Thornton Jr. has a condition known as paraphilic infantalism. According to Good Morning America, dressing up as and acting like a small child helps him cope with sexual abuse he experienced when he was younger. After National Geographic featured him on their show Taboo, it was revealed that he lived off of disability checks in spite of being fully functional as an adult. This led Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) to demand a fraud investigation. After Stanley was cleared of any wrongdoing the Senator released a statement, “We need to hold accountable not only adult babies but the politicians and bureaucrats who coddle them.”
photo – national geographic
23. Breeding Turtles Shut Down JFK Airport
Several times during the year JFK airport was shutdown due to turtles crossing the runways in order to reach their breeding grounds. According to a Jet Blue rep “running over turtles is not healthy for them, nor is it good for our tires.”
22. Stoned Wallabies Create Crop Circles In Australia
Australia supplies roughly one-half of the world’s legal opium that is used for medicine and other purposes. Lara Giddings, the attorney general of Tasmania, explained to parliament in a hearing earlier this year that there is a problem with wallabies “entering those poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles, until they crash.”
photo – rollinghillswildlife.com
21. Woman Receives Cement Buttocks
A Miami woman seeking a job in a local nightclub felt as though she needed a curvier body so she set out to find a cheap plastic surgeon. Evidently though, you get what you pay for, as the “plastic surgeon” she found ended up filling her buttocks with cement, mineral oil, and flat-tire sealant. The fraudulent doctor has since been arrested and identified as 30 year old Oneal Ron Morris.
20. Giant LEGO Man Washes Up On Florida Beach
An 8-foot tall, 100 pound lego man made of fiberglass was found washed upon Siesta Key beach in October with the words NO REAL THAN YOU ARE spelled out across his chest. On his back is an inscription with the name “Ego Leonard” which some have said is the name of a Dutch artist, but as of yet no one has claimed him.
photo – baynews9.com
19. Frozen Dead Guy Day Festival For Sale
Every year in Nederland, Colorado something known as the Frozen Dead Guy Day festival occurs in remembrance of Bredo Morstoel who died in 1993, was frozen, and is now kept in a shed near the village. The festival, complete with coffin races and frozen salmon tossing is being sold due to budget constraints by the city.
photo – komononews.com
18. Stowaway Crocodile Causes Plane Crash
When a plane crashed in the Congo earlier this year, the sole survivor reported that the crash was caused by a crocodile someone smuggled aboard. It somehow freed itself and the passengers stampeded thus destabilizing the plane. According to the Guardian 19 people died and although the crocodile survived the impact he was killed by rescuers with a machete.
17. Wedding By Fire
A couple set to be married in Nova Scotia this last November had to evacuate the lodge where they were holding the wedding and change locations due to a fire, but not before snapping the most intense wedding photo of the year.
photo – msnbc.com
16. Duck Tape On Ducks
In Boise, Idaho several passerby noticed a distressed mother duck near a storm drain where her ducklings were trapped. The good samaritans used duck tape on a stick to reach down and pull the ducklings to safety.
15. Town Celebrates 15 Minutes of Significance
The biggest thing to ever happen in Walnut Ridge, Arkansas occurred in 1964 when the Beatles had a 15 minute layover at the local airport. 47 years later, a local artist commemorated the event with a statue. The unveiling also included a tribute concert and local townspeople sharing memories of the day.
14. The Most Intense Honeymoon Ever
The Svanstrom’s of Sweden somehow managed to run into every natural disaster of 2011 while on their honeymoon. It started in December when they were stranded in Munich by the European Snowstorms. When they finally arrived in Australia they were met by a massive cyclone in Cairns after which left for Brisbane but ran directly into the flooding. Perth wasn’t any better with all of its brush fires so they decided to try New Zealand, just in time for the Christchurch earthquake. After trying several other spots they ended up in Japan right before the tsunami and yet another earthquake. They are now safely back in Sweden…and still married.
13. Portland Drains Reservoir Due To Urination
After 21 year old Joshua Seater peed in a Mt. Tabor water reservoir officials in Portland had to drain 7.8 million gallons of water at the cost of $30,000. Now that’s an expensive bathroom break.
photo – eastpdxnews.com
12. Man Robs Bank For 1 Dollar
In June James Verone walked into a bank in Charlotte, North Carolina and handed the teller a note saying, “This is a bank robbery, please give me only 1 dollar.” He then walked over to the seating area and sat down to wait for police. According to James he didn’t have medical insurance and the only way he knew how to get care was in jail.
11. Australian Mom Tries To Sell Kids On eBay
Although eBay does have a reputation for being used to sell some strange things, an Australian woman really took the cake when she tried to auction off her kids in early December. It almost worked too, as strangers came and placed bids on the children, both under 10 years old. Authorities, however, were alerted and the ad was promptly taken down. The woman claimed it was just a joke and no charges have been filed as of yet.
10. Ron Artest Changes Name To Metta World Peace
Allegedly in an attempt to shrug of his image as a ruffian and brawler Ron Artest changed his given name to “Metta” (meaning kindness) and his surname to “World Peace”.
9. City Collects $4000 From Saggy Pants Fines
If you have read our article on the 25 craziest laws ever then you are aware of the “saggy pants” ordinances that are becoming popular in some parts of the United States. As a result, in Albany, Georgia Law Enforcement did fairly well for itself over the course of the last year as it collected over $4,000 from people wearing clothing below their waist lines.
photo – nytimes.com
8. Mexican Street Vendor Has 82 Tattoos of Julia Roberts
Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic of Mexico has covered his body with over 82 tattoos of Julia Roberts since watching her portrayal of a legal assistant in the film Erin Brockovich. He says that he plans to continue as long as he has space and money.
photo – Reuters
7. Man Attacks Woman With Frozen Armadillo
On Sept 29th, a Dallas man allegedly attacked a woman with a frozen armadillo after she tried to buy it from him. There was a disagreement over price and chaos ensued.
6. Peeping Tom Found Hiding In Tank of Portable Toilet
According to authorities a woman attending a local summer yoga festival in Colorado found a man hiding in the tank of a portable toilet after lifting the lid. Security arrived on scene and waited for the man to emerge from the tank, covered in excrement. Before they could catch him though, he understandably managed to get a way.
5. Skeleton of Man Found In Chimney After 27 Years
The skeleton of Joseph Schexnider was found by construction workers in the chimney of a Louisiana bank in May. He died 27 years prior after failing to appear at a court hearing in 1984.
4. Underwear Stealing Kangaroo Caught In Prague, Czech Republic
Authorities in Prague, Czech Republic began to receive calls in August concerning a chain of lingerie thefts throughout the city. The case was blown wide open after someone caught a glimpse of the suspect hopping off with his loot. The mischievous marsupial was later caught after the owner came forward. Named Benji, the kangaroo had been reported to have escaped several days prior.
photo – guzer.com
3. Man Shoots Wart With Shotgun
While most people would probably at least start with medication, Sean Murphy of South Yorkshire, England decided that his wart needed a little more firepower. Unfortunately he shot of most of his finger but in a statement to the press he seemed satisfied, “The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble.”
2. Woman Wakes Up At Funeral And Dies of Shock
According to the Daily Mail, a Russian woman that was mistakenly declared to be dead woke up at her funeral only moments from being buried. When she saw the mourners and realized what was going on she started screaming hysterically and apparently suffered a massive heart attack. After being transported to a local hospital she was once again pronounced dead.
1. Doctors Remove Blade From Man’s Brain
Doctors in China managed to remove a four inch blade from the skull of a man who had been stabbed by a robber four years earlier. The man had been experienced headaches and difficulty breathing but never realized there was a blade stuck in his head.
Jun 12
Year In Review: 25 Strangest News Stories of 2011
10.
Crystal Yamnitzky and her boyfriend Robert Driscoll stole a $12,000 ring. Shortly after, Yamnitzky posted pictures of it on Facebook with the caption, “Look what Robby gave me. I love him so much.”
University of Georgia sophomore Nitesh Bhakta used Facebook to help foil an armed robbery in progress at his family’s home. The 20-year-old was in his room on his laptop when he heard his grandmother scream.
“As soon as I opened my door, I saw three hooded guys like all masked in black at the front door,” Bhakta said. “I shut my door, locked it, grabbed my laptop, went into the attic and hid.”
“I don’t think [Facebook] is really meant as a lifesaving tool, but it’s the only way I could think of contacting someone immediately to call for help,” he said.
So, as the intruders rifled through the home, Bhakta updated his Facebook status: “HELP, ROBBERS, NO PHONE.” In all caps, naturally.
“A lot of people thought it was a joke,” he said.
Fortunately his best friend, John Salter, took him seriously, notifying Bartow County sheriff’s deputies as Bhatka hid in the dark.
In May, a study came out that said young people would rather lose their sense of smell instead of their social networks.
A McCann survey of 6,000 people aged 16 to 30 found that 53 percent of respondents would rather forfeit the ability to smell than lose access to social networking websites.
Jason Valdez held a woman hostage for 16 hours in a hotel room in Utah and basically live-blogged the entire thing on Facebook. Read all of the status updates here.
Nikki Rasmussen was arrested for lighting her friend’s house on fire because her friend defriended her on Facebook.
A police report says that when an officer asked Nikki Rasmussen about Jen Harris, Rasmussen said “… the two are no longer friends due to a dispute over Facebook. According to Nikki, Jen is angry with her because she ended their friendship on Facebook.”
In November, a burglar signed into Facebook from a computer inside a home he broke into before sprinting from the scene. Unfortunately, he forgot to logout before he left.
38-year-old Sarah Crane of Orpington in Kent was retrieving her laundry after leaving it outside to dry overnight, when she noticed the face of Jesus Christ winking back at her from the wrinkles in one of her socks.
“I called my boyfriend over straight away,” she says. “We could both clearly see the face of Jesus in the sock. There is a straight-on face and a side profile too. We couldn’t believe it.”
Crane and her beau were planning to construct a shrine for the sock, but as soon as they moved it, the creases shifted and the face fell apart.
“[Y]ou can still just about make out his face,” Crane said. “Unfortunately, it’s not quite good enough to donate to our local church but our friends have all been round to see it.”
